It is the time of the year again for New Year resolutions (and very soon broken promises). Everyone you come across in the office over the coming days ahead would be referring to their list of “quitting smoking”, “stop looking like the Michelin Man” or “spend more time with the family”. This is the same wrinkled coffee-stained list from the last five years.
While I have stopped deliberately writing down New Year resolutions many moons ago, here’s what I think you can consider to add on to your list:
1. Stop eating nasi lemak (breakfast) and maggi mee (lunch) at your office cubicle. Not everyone received a nose plug for X’mas.
2. Stop smoking at the office staircase… unless they have invented cool-mint or floral-smelling cigarettes. While you have the right to smoke, we too have the right to clean air.
3. Stop forwarding chain letters and jokes over the office email. Bad enough I have to spend 2 hours every morning of my ageing years reading my never-sleep-boss’ midnight emails on a tiny laptop screen.
4. Stop sending emails at 12.00 midnight… it just means you haven’t done enough to tire you out in the day.
5. Stop sending me an email to ask if I have read your earlier email. What makes you think if I had ignored you earlier, I would do otherwise this time around.
6. Stop thinking that a tie and suit makes you look professional. Have you met anyone who thought a penguin looks professional?
7. Start smiling and nod when the lift door opens. Asking you to say “Good morning” would be a “revolution”, not resolution.
8. If you can’t stop reading the newspaper in the toilet, then at least start bringing in your iPad/Tab instead. See how you like pee & shit smeared across your screen.
9. For guys, start talking about your baby’s nappy routine, and for ladies start talking about the darn football offside rule. It’s bound to reduce your gossiping time at the office.